DESPERATE PLEA for HELP...

I'm a 51 year old single father...I'm just trying to do the right thing by standing by and taking care of my “special needs” son...There are no services for single fathers, who are involved with the system through no fault of their own...If I can't find a “hand-up”, my young son will be placed into foster care (paid for by taxpayers), I will be forced to become homeless (relying on services supported by taxpayers) and quite possibly needing “mental health services”, after the loss of my son (who has been my sole focus for his short 5 year life), again adding to the burden on taxpayers...I'm desperately trying to not let any of this happen...

My son and I are examples of some of the root causes that are in turn, causing many of the big issues we face today...Circumstances for us have become desperate...My young son was born with “Full Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder”, a form of “organic brain damage” with visible physical malformations (medically correct term for deformities)...My son was receiving Social Security Disability and to help save Social Security, individuals like my son should be receiving support from another source, funded by the industry responsible for poisoning our society...Reducing the “need for services” must come before the elimination of funding for vital assistance...Yet again, we are an excellent example...

My son will be (5) on May 7th...After finally obtaining a court order for child support at age (4), waiting almost seven months before actually receiving our first check and receiving child support for four months ; I received a phone call on April 3rd stating that my sons child support case was being closed...I was informed that my sons mother died on March 30th...With her death, we naturally lost the $292 monthly child support and the $220 support supplement from Social Security...After contacting our local Social Security administration office, I was informed that my son will begin receiving Social Security Survivors Benefits of $813 per month...I was also informed that this is considered to be “income” that disqualifies my son from receiving his own disability assistance...We lost an additional $593 and his medical coverage...On top of all this ; I was also informed that I was losing the $340 AFDC support (as I am required to care for my son at home 24/7 due to his disability and extreme behavioral issues), the $155 in food stamps and my medical coverage...

Together we were receiving $1445 cash aid plus $155 in food stamps and our medical coverage...My son now receives $813 per month...We no longer qualify for any other assistance...We have no family to turn to, my son lost his mother (at age 43) and he is now likely to lose his father and sole caretaker since birth, because we simply can't live on $813 a month...At age 51, with our current economy/employment crisis, no transportation and living in a small northern California town, I have no hope of finding employment...I am being forced into the position of having to give up custody of my son and placing him into the State Foster Care System...We can't even turn to the local “Mission Shelter”, as single men with young children are not allowed, though separate facilities are provided for women with children...Without a vehicle providing transportation of our own, we have no means to move elsewhere, such as a larger city with medical services specific to my sons disability...

How much are we expected to take before we “snap”? The media talks about parents and other individuals who perform some irrational and unspeakable acts, but nobody talks about the extreme pressures that lead up to such acts...Few try to help before things get to an explosive point...I understand the struggles of being a single parent and a single parent of a “special needs child”...I'm tired of assistance and media attention being made available to women and single mothers, but nothing for single fathers...I'm tired of fathers being demonized...Is it any wonder why men don't “step up” as so many say we should? Is it any wonder that the news covers acts of desperation by men, but rarely from women? There is no support for men who do try to do the “right thing”...

I'm not asking for a “hand-out”...I could really use a “hand-up”...Prior to losing my business (owned and operated for over 26 years) due to the “inter-net boom”, my lack of computer knowledge and the ensuing recession during 2000/01, I was self-sufficient and self-reliant...I could have survived one or the other, but not both...I used cash, not credit, for all my purchases and expenses...I could easily restart my “recession resistant” business with $15,000 and make $35k to $65k per year...If someone has the ability to donate a “toy hauler” trailer and a truck to tow it with (or arrange the donation of), I could provide a basic and stable “home” for my son and I, no matter what happens with our economy and housing crisis ; as well as be able to manufacture my products in the “garage area” of the trailer...Most importantly, I would be able to continue caring for my “special needs” son on my own, without any further need for outside assistance, that is not available to us anyway and keep my son out of a foster care system, which would do nothing to help my son, but create one more dependent on our “entitlement system”...

The alternative to helping us with a “hand-up” is simple : My son (almost 5) will be turned over to the State of California and become a further burden to the State and to the tax payers until he turns 18...I will become literally homeless and quite possibly develop a mental illness and become a burden to the State and tax payers...WHY? This doesn't need to happen and “you” shouldn't have to support us...

My son and I have managed to survive the effects of becoming “homeless” twice...My son and I have lost everything (including clothes and toys) and rebuilt from scratch, twice...My son has lost his mother and has nobody else but me and now faces losing me as well...We have been through a lot already and we have made a great deal of progress with many of my sons “issues”...I'm not willing to give-up on my son...

I am well aware that there are many tens of thousands of people in need of help in our country and I am well aware that many don't think they should support others who can't support themselves...Most are in need of homes and jobs...My son and I have much the same needs...I used to be a small business owner, self-reliant and did not use credit...I didn't create our situation through my own mistakes...My son most definitely had nothing to do with creating his part...We aren't “deadbeats”...The difference is I am asking for items that can be “donated”, which can then be claimed as a deduction from increasing taxes and the assistance requested to re-start my business would allow us to become self-sufficient, for (2 to 3 years), no matter what happens with our economy...We also need to become “mobile”, to allow me to take my son to where there are “Fetal Alcohol” specific medical services and research...

Begging doesn't come easy to me, but at this point, I have very little pride left...We're DESPERATE...I'm now pleading for HELP...